Dan
Thursday, January 13, 2011
New Blog
So real quick, I've kind of gotten bored by this blog. So to cure my boredom with blogging, I created a new blog! Yay! Hahaha, dead serious. Now don't get me wrong, I'll still be updating this blog every once in awhile (probably when I get bored with the other one) so don't abandon this one. In order to fulfill my desire to share and explain my impeccable taste is music, I created this one at hardtoexplainlisztomania.blogspot.com/. Jared, this is mainly for you dude.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Dog Barf and Other Surprises
So living back at home for a bit hasn't been too bad. It's nice not having to pay rent and so forth and yeah, I like the fam and surprisingly, I'm not sick of them yet. Due to the lack of social life, I've really been able to connect with them and get to spend some real quality time with them.
The one family member I've really gotten to know well is my dog Griz. My family got him while I was away on my mission and so never really got to know this dog before headed off to Provo. He is the perfect dog for my family. He cuddles with you while you're watching TV and always is up for a chase.
Anyways, I've come to love this dog. Even when he decided to puke everywhere on the kitchen floor. I would post pictures but it was an ugly site, and it took everything I had to keep my gag reflex under control as it was. I can't think of anything more disgusting to clean up than brown chunky dog vomit. And yet, I still love this dog. Griz, buddy, you owe me one.
Also this last weekend I got to go sledding up on Cedar Mountain with part of the Spendlove clan, Axton Hoyt, and a few other friends. The highlights were definitely my sandwiches that were made with love by Whit and Jacob getting his head stuck in the snow while trying snowboarding for the first time. Poor kid, but boy, he did not give up. I've never seen anyone take such a beating and still continue at it. I was able to film most of the runs people had but unfortunately I always seemed to miss his. The one I will post is the one of Axton trying to hit a three foot jump on a sled. I sledded down before him in order to film it and went down so fast I had to roll off the sled in order to stop.
He started making excuses that his sled slowed down by itself. As you can hear in the video, I thought the was a bunch of bull crap but it made for a hilarious video.
All in all, it made for a great trip and some good laughs.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
My Pigs
So it's back to the grinding stone for Dan the Man Worwood. Not exactly jumping out of my socks in excitement here. Being able to be home in Hurricane for a bit reminded me of how badly I love that place. It's seriously paradise on earth, complete with four-wheelers, swimming pool, Peach Days, and yes, piglets. My Brother's Pig, Margo, gave birth to 12 piglets! Although 3 didn't pull through in the end, that's still an incredible feat to me.
The coolest thing was that I got watch her while she gave birth. Animals to me are just amazing. Margo patiently just lay on her side while about every ten minutes a new piglet popped out. Once a piglet popped out they kind of just rolled around in the dirt until the amniotic sac came off. What was crazy to me was how not only could the piglets immediately walk, but that they knew where to go to get milk. Nature is amazing. Some of the piglets names are spork, Peter Porker, Cinny Minny, and Maxwell.
Anyways, That's all I feel like talking about. Those piglets are hilarious though. If you try to pick one up they start sqealing like mad and Margo goes all crazy. It's kinda funny.
The coolest thing was that I got watch her while she gave birth. Animals to me are just amazing. Margo patiently just lay on her side while about every ten minutes a new piglet popped out. Once a piglet popped out they kind of just rolled around in the dirt until the amniotic sac came off. What was crazy to me was how not only could the piglets immediately walk, but that they knew where to go to get milk. Nature is amazing. Some of the piglets names are spork, Peter Porker, Cinny Minny, and Maxwell.
Anyways, That's all I feel like talking about. Those piglets are hilarious though. If you try to pick one up they start sqealing like mad and Margo goes all crazy. It's kinda funny.
Monday, July 19, 2010
My Walmart Wish
Has anyone had that feeling whenever walking through those Walmart sensors that your trying to sneek something out of the store even though you're definitely not trying to do anything of the sort? Especially if you hadn't made any purchases? I walk through them sometimes just waiting for the alarms to go off and be surrounded instantly by police with their guns pointed at me yelling over a megaphone to slowly pull the Tomogachi from my pocket and set it on the ground.
But regardless if I think they'll go off or not, my body still spasms into the air everytime they do go off. And then I'm always surprised how no one makes a big deal out of it. As a matter of fact, the greeter usually looks a lot happier after it happens. Whether it's due to the fact that it breaks up the monotony of their shift by getting their off their cushion to come clear everything up or the fact that they just witnessed a couple of college-aged guys just about pee their pants while doing some pretty incredible acrobatics, they always look pretty smug. Huh, now that I think about it, I wonder if some of them don't just occasionally plant things on customers who were in too much of a hurry on the way in to say hi or even smile back as the greeter welcomed them to Walmart. I know I would.
That's why it was so odd when we made it all the way out to Brett's car when Brett suddenly realized he had just made it all the way out of Walmart without paying for his 50 bucks worth of groceries. Apperently the cashier had been so busy talking to Brett about pest control that she never asked him to pay. And with all his groceries being scanned, he walked right out of Walmart without the sensors going off. Fortunately though, my roommate is pretty close to a saint and quickly ran back into Walmart where he found a very relieved cashier. What a great kid.
Speaking of Walmart though, I have a Walmart wish.
I want one night alone with all my friends in a Walmart Supercenter. No, no, no. Not so that we can gorge ourselves on the infinite amount of ice cream and frozen burritos, although I'm sure that would be a popular idea to you gluttons. No, not even to loot the toy aisles of all their nerf guns...... Well, ok, that's a lie. But more importantly, I would want to have a Walmart store solely to myself and those whom I would deem worthy to play the most incredible night games a boy could ever dream of. And if nerf guns and burritos happened to be included in that package, I for one wouldn't complain.
I have long dreamt about what I would do on such an epic night. We'd start out using the tables and chairs in the lawn and gardening section to create a blockade till it could compete with any high school senior prank. My team and I would then have a fairly secure base surrounded by gun turret clothes racks that you could step into the middle of and be completely hidden as well as protected by the clothes hanging around you. Ok, so that's all I've really dreamt of doing. Make a base and hide in the clothes racks. That and see what it looks like behind the shelves where they put the milk. Yessiree, that would be my simple Walmart wish.
The only thing that could make a night like that be better was if the girl of my dreams was waiting just outside the sliding glass doors to congratulate me on my heroic victory. Hearing her call to me, I would sprint down the aisle (not necessarily cause I'm in a hurry, but because it looks like you're in warp speed with the items on the shelves wizzing past you) past the checkout, past the Mini McDonald's, anxiously approaching my first Walmart kiss.
And right as I'm about to reach her, I put my hand out and.... *#BEEP!#* *#BEEP!#* *#BEEP!#*. The *#BEEP!#*ing store sensor goes off. Not that i want the sensors to go off. It's just the most likely scenario when you have empty burrito wrappers hanggin' out of your pocket and a nerf gun slung on your back.
Alas, though this retail fairytale may not come true for a while, it definitely can't hurt sucking up to those greeter ladies when walking in. Who knows, one of them might turn into my FairyMart Godmother and grant my boyhood wish. Either way though, it's worth it to keep them happy. Don't want those sensors to go off now do we?
Post Note about Picture. Sorry it's blurry. Brett had to take it quick without a flash because apperently it's againts Walmart rules to take pictures in the store. So how did I get it? Without going into too many details, let's just say that it required faking a British accent and doing a lot of sweet talking.
But regardless if I think they'll go off or not, my body still spasms into the air everytime they do go off. And then I'm always surprised how no one makes a big deal out of it. As a matter of fact, the greeter usually looks a lot happier after it happens. Whether it's due to the fact that it breaks up the monotony of their shift by getting their off their cushion to come clear everything up or the fact that they just witnessed a couple of college-aged guys just about pee their pants while doing some pretty incredible acrobatics, they always look pretty smug. Huh, now that I think about it, I wonder if some of them don't just occasionally plant things on customers who were in too much of a hurry on the way in to say hi or even smile back as the greeter welcomed them to Walmart. I know I would.
That's why it was so odd when we made it all the way out to Brett's car when Brett suddenly realized he had just made it all the way out of Walmart without paying for his 50 bucks worth of groceries. Apperently the cashier had been so busy talking to Brett about pest control that she never asked him to pay. And with all his groceries being scanned, he walked right out of Walmart without the sensors going off. Fortunately though, my roommate is pretty close to a saint and quickly ran back into Walmart where he found a very relieved cashier. What a great kid.
Speaking of Walmart though, I have a Walmart wish.
I want one night alone with all my friends in a Walmart Supercenter. No, no, no. Not so that we can gorge ourselves on the infinite amount of ice cream and frozen burritos, although I'm sure that would be a popular idea to you gluttons. No, not even to loot the toy aisles of all their nerf guns...... Well, ok, that's a lie. But more importantly, I would want to have a Walmart store solely to myself and those whom I would deem worthy to play the most incredible night games a boy could ever dream of. And if nerf guns and burritos happened to be included in that package, I for one wouldn't complain.
I have long dreamt about what I would do on such an epic night. We'd start out using the tables and chairs in the lawn and gardening section to create a blockade till it could compete with any high school senior prank. My team and I would then have a fairly secure base surrounded by gun turret clothes racks that you could step into the middle of and be completely hidden as well as protected by the clothes hanging around you. Ok, so that's all I've really dreamt of doing. Make a base and hide in the clothes racks. That and see what it looks like behind the shelves where they put the milk. Yessiree, that would be my simple Walmart wish.
The only thing that could make a night like that be better was if the girl of my dreams was waiting just outside the sliding glass doors to congratulate me on my heroic victory. Hearing her call to me, I would sprint down the aisle (not necessarily cause I'm in a hurry, but because it looks like you're in warp speed with the items on the shelves wizzing past you) past the checkout, past the Mini McDonald's, anxiously approaching my first Walmart kiss.
And right as I'm about to reach her, I put my hand out and.... *#BEEP!#* *#BEEP!#* *#BEEP!#*. The *#BEEP!#*ing store sensor goes off. Not that i want the sensors to go off. It's just the most likely scenario when you have empty burrito wrappers hanggin' out of your pocket and a nerf gun slung on your back.
Alas, though this retail fairytale may not come true for a while, it definitely can't hurt sucking up to those greeter ladies when walking in. Who knows, one of them might turn into my FairyMart Godmother and grant my boyhood wish. Either way though, it's worth it to keep them happy. Don't want those sensors to go off now do we?
Post Note about Picture. Sorry it's blurry. Brett had to take it quick without a flash because apperently it's againts Walmart rules to take pictures in the store. So how did I get it? Without going into too many details, let's just say that it required faking a British accent and doing a lot of sweet talking.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
My new hobby of Dudeing
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG IS FAIRLY LIBERAL AND BY NO MEANS IS INTENDED TO OFFEND ANYONE.
I've grown up pretty girl crazy. I've never been fearful of the thought of kissing a girl. When other boys ran away in fear of getting coodies when a girl came close, I sadly had to pretend that I too was scared in order to keep my title as a respectable male. I know I like girls and that will never change. That's probably why I have no problem when my roommates and I crack lame jokes about us being gay. Obviously we're not, but it's always funny just the same. Well.... Almost always funny.
So Brett and I and a few of the other guys wanted to go see a movie after work on Saturday. Since we hardly ever got to go out, we decided to dress up for the occassion, especially if it meant increasing our chances of attracting the young señoritas that might be there.
Unfortunately though, when we got to the theater, they were practically sold out. Rather than buy crappy tickets and end up straining our necks from looking up into the screen, we decided to go look for a new toy remote control helicopter for Brett since his had just broke.
We first went to Target and then onto Walmart but couldn't find the one we were looking for. While in walmart, I joked to Brett that we were definitely one of the better looking couples in the store. We laughed and then hopped into the car to head to a new store. But while in route to the mall, we saw a petmart and decided just to run inside to see if they had a cool, non-smelly pet we could get for the apt.
Brett asked if he could hold a snake and the girl gladly pulled one out and stuck it in the palm of Brett's hand. I noticed the questioning looks she was giving us and just smiled. Brett on the other hand, was completely oblivious to this when he turned to me and asked, "Should we get this for our apt?" and then "Do you want to hold the snake?"
A little embarressed I just took the snake and held it on my palm. Without thinking, Brett started stroking it gently while I was still holding it. I tried giving it quickly back to the girl but I knew from the grin on the girl's face that it was too late. She thought we were gay. We left and I pointed out what had just happpened and had a pretty good laugh. But our night wasn't over yet. Still looking for a helicopter, we were pretty excited when we saw a store called, "Hobby Lobby." That place had to have a helicopter. Let's just say as soon as we walked past the automatic doors we realized that if there was a perfect gay store, that was it. We had no idea that it was an Arts & Crafts store. We booked it out of there as fast as our feminine hienies would let us.
We finally made it to the mall and to the kiosk where they sold helicopters. The first thing the guy selling them said to me once he identified us as potential buyers was, "So you buying this for your companion or for you?"
Having such a questioning night led us needing a major ego boost to our Man-esteem. Fortunately we were Man-ded we ran into a team at the mall dressed up like the Ghostbusters from "Ghostbusters." we asked to take a picture with them but they told us that the mall security wouldn't let them but I'f we met them at their car outside that we could. Brett an I sprinted out to his car and then drove around to where they told us only to be majorly disappointed when we saw security driving up to them on segways just as fast. Thinking that our photo oppertunity was lost, we got out anyway to see why security was kicking 'em out. Much to our giddy surprise though, they weren't. They just wanted a picture too. So after we took a photo for them, they took one for us. Night complete.
We called our night dude-ing in order to help us laugh at it, and finished the evening by going back to the apt and watching a movie cuddled close together around Brett's computer cause we don't have a TV and his speaker's only project about a foot worth of sound. I tried calling a bunch of girls that night but none of them picked up.
Well, it was a night that i'm still not sure if I should try to forget. Either way though, I'm never going to assume someone is gay just based on the fact that he's with another guy. Now if they're petting a snake together than.....
I've grown up pretty girl crazy. I've never been fearful of the thought of kissing a girl. When other boys ran away in fear of getting coodies when a girl came close, I sadly had to pretend that I too was scared in order to keep my title as a respectable male. I know I like girls and that will never change. That's probably why I have no problem when my roommates and I crack lame jokes about us being gay. Obviously we're not, but it's always funny just the same. Well.... Almost always funny.
So Brett and I and a few of the other guys wanted to go see a movie after work on Saturday. Since we hardly ever got to go out, we decided to dress up for the occassion, especially if it meant increasing our chances of attracting the young señoritas that might be there.
Unfortunately though, when we got to the theater, they were practically sold out. Rather than buy crappy tickets and end up straining our necks from looking up into the screen, we decided to go look for a new toy remote control helicopter for Brett since his had just broke.
We first went to Target and then onto Walmart but couldn't find the one we were looking for. While in walmart, I joked to Brett that we were definitely one of the better looking couples in the store. We laughed and then hopped into the car to head to a new store. But while in route to the mall, we saw a petmart and decided just to run inside to see if they had a cool, non-smelly pet we could get for the apt.
Brett asked if he could hold a snake and the girl gladly pulled one out and stuck it in the palm of Brett's hand. I noticed the questioning looks she was giving us and just smiled. Brett on the other hand, was completely oblivious to this when he turned to me and asked, "Should we get this for our apt?" and then "Do you want to hold the snake?"
A little embarressed I just took the snake and held it on my palm. Without thinking, Brett started stroking it gently while I was still holding it. I tried giving it quickly back to the girl but I knew from the grin on the girl's face that it was too late. She thought we were gay. We left and I pointed out what had just happpened and had a pretty good laugh. But our night wasn't over yet. Still looking for a helicopter, we were pretty excited when we saw a store called, "Hobby Lobby." That place had to have a helicopter. Let's just say as soon as we walked past the automatic doors we realized that if there was a perfect gay store, that was it. We had no idea that it was an Arts & Crafts store. We booked it out of there as fast as our feminine hienies would let us.
We finally made it to the mall and to the kiosk where they sold helicopters. The first thing the guy selling them said to me once he identified us as potential buyers was, "So you buying this for your companion or for you?"
Having such a questioning night led us needing a major ego boost to our Man-esteem. Fortunately we were Man-ded we ran into a team at the mall dressed up like the Ghostbusters from "Ghostbusters." we asked to take a picture with them but they told us that the mall security wouldn't let them but I'f we met them at their car outside that we could. Brett an I sprinted out to his car and then drove around to where they told us only to be majorly disappointed when we saw security driving up to them on segways just as fast. Thinking that our photo oppertunity was lost, we got out anyway to see why security was kicking 'em out. Much to our giddy surprise though, they weren't. They just wanted a picture too. So after we took a photo for them, they took one for us. Night complete.
We called our night dude-ing in order to help us laugh at it, and finished the evening by going back to the apt and watching a movie cuddled close together around Brett's computer cause we don't have a TV and his speaker's only project about a foot worth of sound. I tried calling a bunch of girls that night but none of them picked up.
Well, it was a night that i'm still not sure if I should try to forget. Either way though, I'm never going to assume someone is gay just based on the fact that he's with another guy. Now if they're petting a snake together than.....
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